I met Trixie. The newly crowned all-star, whether you believe in its fairness; I don’t feel lame at all in saying that it was the best moment of my life.
It was 10th of November in Nottingham in Spanky Van Dykes. Before I met her after the show, so I was over-sensitised and crazy with pure excitement.
I love drag, and it was the first show I had ever attended so the experience of heightened. You should have seen how ecstatic I became just by being touched on the arm by local queen Nana Arthole. She was trying to move past, but I don’t think I will ever forget that.
So, meeting Trixie was more than being face-to-face with favourite drag race girl. It felt like for the first time in my life I was drenched in a culture that I admired in its entirety.
And what made this experience better? She was nice! I had prepared myself for her to be snarky, commenting on my whiteness, my female gender and my apparent straightness, so I had responses to all remarks. Which would go terribly, she is a comedy master, and I am barely above ‘knock-knock’ jokes. So, I had even prepared to lose. But I was wrong.
She was sweet.
She was attentive.
And she was wonderful.
And that confused me. That bitch! So, maybe I was right, I did lose.
My attire was rainbow trousers with a pink dress. A combination that you would see only on a crazy person or someone doesn’t want their thighs to rub against each other. Or if you’re me, both. In a bizarre turn of fate, Trixie took one look at me and said ‘fashion’. And me being overly anxious and my brain capacity is below 1% while hearing overwhelming loud music and being blinded by lights thought she had said ‘Tamzin’.
Being the genius and quick thinker that I am, I did the only thing possible in that situation. I took a massive step back. Reverse away from your heroes, what a brilliant idea! I am guessing I was thinking ‘Lets runway from your idol. That will impress her.’
She then told me said fashion and mentioned and motioned to my trousers. I forgot that the trousers even existed, though they are my favourite fashion item. But, now Trixie thinks they are fashion so eat a hummus sandwich and bask in my extraordinary fashion trousers.
It was a requirement to sit down. So, I did. Okay, you may think I am exaggerating here, but I am not. When I finally got the courage to look at Trixie. I have never seen such beauty in my life. She was ethereal. Again, I was taken aback.
I expected to see the flaws in the design- a wonky eyelash, a wonky cheek, a little bit of sweat to keep a bit of Katya with her-anything. But, there were none other than seeing her real lips on her fake lips. Did I care? Only someone who was moronic would.
I after sitting down, proceeded to ramble on about how my friend was worried that her dress would scare Trixie- covered in owls. And she responded in a very delicate and soft-spoken way, “oh, no I love birds.’
(It wasn’t around a week later before I realised, that the album I had on repeat for months w called ‘Two Birds’
Honestly, I am glad that I didn’t call her a walking headache or demand that she maintains the survival of Katya.
Seeing my nerves, I think to calm me down she showed me a girl dancing downstairs from the balcony we were on. I appreciate that she saw me as the anxious bean I was and wanted me to have something interesting in the encounter not just me repeatedly making a fool out of myself.
The flash went off I guess. The picture is a moment. I have no recollection of, not even the flash. Other than she got close to me and I felt her padded breast against my arm and went into overdrive crazy. How I don’t look like a mental patient in that photo is beyond me.
The encounter was nearly over, my magical moment was up, and I probably squandered it. I don’t care it was still amazing, but I felt compelled to tell Miss Mattel to ‘please have a great life’.
And she smiled at me and said: “Oh, I will.”
And then ramble me came over again and had to explain that I am not sarcastic. So, in response, Trixie blew me a kiss. A kiss. I got an air kiss from Trixie Mattel. I don’t know what that means, but it makes me happy. I understand what it means to be star struck now.
I left. I barely remember how I got home, but at least I remember how she looked when Trixie blew me a kiss. I am lame, I know.
At the end of this, I wanted to mention how important this was. Not just to me but other fans of Drag Race. This meet and greet was just after the videos of Valentina and Alaska and Sharon’s meet greets came out and showed how rude they were to them and the little to no time they got with the queens. I understand that there are many different reasons why they could have acted like this due to management, bad days or it going over. But, Trixie didn’t do this, I wish I had taken a video of how Trixie interacted with each fan. It was beyond of what I expected from her, and she made the experience worthwhile as you got time with her.
I so appreciated it, and I think everyone else that night did as well.
For the few people who read this blog, I probably should explain where I have been. I realised that I hated writing reviews, you know what happened and probably care very little of what I think of it. It got to the point where I didn’t even bother about my own opinion. I am going to have a set timetable, but I am going to continue writing for this, but I am going to stop doing what I think I have to do.
It also comes from being very disillusioned and angry over Rupaul’s comments on Trans queens, and I lost belief for a while. But, with all of the uproar over this situation. It made me I don’t love Drag because of RuPaul or the show. I love it because it is an artform that I respond in its entirety. I am hopefully going to write a post about the trans situation, and it is not a topic that I am scared to write. It comes to time and how I am feeling and also I kind of missed the ride of shock.
But, it is something that people should continue to talk about and to be vocal and stand up against as it is essential to the community.